middle cyclones and other references

"He slept that night in his own country and he had a dream wherein he saw God's pilgrims laboring upon a darkened verge in the last of the twilight of that day and they seemed to be returning from some deep enterprise that was not of war nor were they yet in flight but rather seemed coming from some labor to which perhaps these and all other things stood subjugate."
The Crossing, Cormac McCarthy


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Posts tagged "movies"
Procrastination Theatre: May 5, 2012 This is actually a completely new genre of movie that I like to call “emo-heist”. Whatever - it’s really poorly written, and basically the plot does stupid things with no acceptable rationale. As expected, Eddie Murphy is the only reason you should see it. Ben Stiller isn’t bad either - it’s nice to see him in a role where he is competent, not just neurotic.

Procrastination Theatre: May 5, 2012

This is actually a completely new genre of movie that I like to call “emo-heist”.

Whatever - it’s really poorly written, and basically the plot does stupid things with no acceptable rationale. As expected, Eddie Murphy is the only reason you should see it. Ben Stiller isn’t bad either - it’s nice to see him in a role where he is competent, not just neurotic.

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Procrastination Theatre: May 3, 2012 You should see this movie if you like any/all of the following: Strong women with insane fighting skills Steven Soderbergh Self-aware, stylized action thrillers Bill Paxton Pam Grier movies Any of the men whom Gina Carano beats up Fight choreography that feels real and brutal and efficient Realistic accounts of how sore a person would be after that much fighting Short, terse, well-crafted little movies without any padding Feeling like the many attractive Hollywood men had a lot of fun getting beaten up by a woman in the making of this movie Gina Carano (is a babe) You should not see this movie if you like the following: Sunset walks on the beach (you will get this joke if you have seen this movie already).

Procrastination Theatre: May 3, 2012

You should see this movie if you like any/all of the following:

  • Strong women with insane fighting skills
  • Steven Soderbergh
  • Self-aware, stylized action thrillers
  • Bill Paxton
  • Pam Grier movies
  • Any of the men whom Gina Carano beats up
  • Fight choreography that feels real and brutal and efficient
  • Realistic accounts of how sore a person would be after that much fighting
  • Short, terse, well-crafted little movies without any padding
  • Feeling like the many attractive Hollywood men had a lot of fun getting beaten up by a woman in the making of this movie
  • Gina Carano (is a babe)

You should not see this movie if you like the following:

  • Sunset walks on the beach (you will get this joke if you have seen this movie already).
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Procrastination Theatre: May 3, 2012 So, because we were informed that the only showing of The 5-Year Engagement that afternoon was a “Mommy & Strollers Only” showing (don’t ask), my mother and I saw this together instead. Which. Yes. I guess really the problem here is that the movie couldn’t commit to its initial premise, which was “Let’s try to make this a funny take on Snow White, wherein the Evil Queen is fun and saucy.” And I mean Julia Roberts was perfect for this, because I find it very difficult to not love Julia Roberts. Her face is so likable and interesting and she makes terrible dialogue lively. But then instead of sticking with her, and continuing to make fun of Snow White for being, well, boring and one-dimensional (sorry, Lily Collins, but it’s true), they try to make Snow White interesting and they move away from Julia Roberts, who is the only entertaining part of the movie. And then during the end credits there’s a Bollywood dance number that’s really weird and abrupt. But maybe interesting to those of you (Sarah, really) who know stuff about Bollywood movies? Also, Armie Hammer is goofy in this. And often shirtless. And the dwarves are okay but still, Julia stole the show.

Procrastination Theatre: May 3, 2012

So, because we were informed that the only showing of The 5-Year Engagement that afternoon was a “Mommy & Strollers Only” showing (don’t ask), my mother and I saw this together instead. Which. Yes.

I guess really the problem here is that the movie couldn’t commit to its initial premise, which was “Let’s try to make this a funny take on Snow White, wherein the Evil Queen is fun and saucy.” And I mean Julia Roberts was perfect for this, because I find it very difficult to not love Julia Roberts. Her face is so likable and interesting and she makes terrible dialogue lively. But then instead of sticking with her, and continuing to make fun of Snow White for being, well, boring and one-dimensional (sorry, Lily Collins, but it’s true), they try to make Snow White interesting and they move away from Julia Roberts, who is the only entertaining part of the movie.

And then during the end credits there’s a Bollywood dance number that’s really weird and abrupt. But maybe interesting to those of you (Sarah, really) who know stuff about Bollywood movies? Also, Armie Hammer is goofy in this. And often shirtless. And the dwarves are okay but still, Julia stole the show.

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Procrastination Theatre: April 26, 2012 Looking back on it, I’m realizing it’s actually hard to overstate how much I disliked this movie. Or as Hemingway would say it, this was not a good or a true movie. Problem #1: the whole premise of the movie is just sort of weird and disingenuous. And creepy. Yeah, I said it. The whole idea of this memoir where this guy who lusted after her for a week pretends that he’s unlocked the secret of her character for all of us reeks of all that masculine gaze stuff that I hate talking about but that does actually happen a lot of the time.  Problem #2: No thanks, Michelle Williams. I just can’t. Not into it, sorry. Problem #3: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH HOW TINY THE BUTT DOUBLE THAT THEY USED FOR MARILYN’S NUDE BOTTOM IS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That was a Size 2 butt. That was not a Marilyn butt. Like, fuck you, movie. Yeah, let’s make a movie claiming to unlock the secrets of the most iconic sex symbol of all time, and then let’s make her famously sexy, luscious body more appropriately sized for today’s standards. I hate whoever was in charge of this movie. I hate them with all my heart. Problem #4: Sentimental, patriarchal claptrap. 

Procrastination Theatre: April 26, 2012

Looking back on it, I’m realizing it’s actually hard to overstate how much I disliked this movie. Or as Hemingway would say it, this was not a good or a true movie.

Problem #1: the whole premise of the movie is just sort of weird and disingenuous. And creepy. Yeah, I said it. The whole idea of this memoir where this guy who lusted after her for a week pretends that he’s unlocked the secret of her character for all of us reeks of all that masculine gaze stuff that I hate talking about but that does actually happen a lot of the time. 

Problem #2: No thanks, Michelle Williams. I just can’t. Not into it, sorry.

Problem #3: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH HOW TINY THE BUTT DOUBLE THAT THEY USED FOR MARILYN’S NUDE BOTTOM IS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That was a Size 2 butt. That was not a Marilyn butt. Like, fuck you, movie. Yeah, let’s make a movie claiming to unlock the secrets of the most iconic sex symbol of all time, and then let’s make her famously sexy, luscious body more appropriately sized for today’s standards. I hate whoever was in charge of this movie. I hate them with all my heart.

Problem #4: Sentimental, patriarchal claptrap. 

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Procrastination Theatre: April 13, 2012 Definitely watched this on the last day of classes for my undergraduate term, ever. With my 16 year old younger brother. Definitely drank a beer and got so pleasantly buzzed that me being slightly drunk is his new favorite and he now regularly encourages me to imbibe liquor in his presence. Anyway, we wanted to watch something fun and dumb. This was it. This was awesome at being that. It was also the first and likely only time that I got excited about my knowledge of basic physics, which manifested itself in my somewhat sloppily explaining to my brother that clearly no one in this movie had even a basic understanding of momentum and collision. Because p1 = p2! And if they want to make sure that m1v1 + m2v2 = 0, then maybe they should do the frigging calculation instead of just throwing something tiny in the train’s way and pretending that that will work. And that is all. That is all the physics I have left.

Procrastination Theatre: April 13, 2012

Definitely watched this on the last day of classes for my undergraduate term, ever. With my 16 year old younger brother. Definitely drank a beer and got so pleasantly buzzed that me being slightly drunk is his new favorite and he now regularly encourages me to imbibe liquor in his presence.

Anyway, we wanted to watch something fun and dumb. This was it. This was awesome at being that. It was also the first and likely only time that I got excited about my knowledge of basic physics, which manifested itself in my somewhat sloppily explaining to my brother that clearly no one in this movie had even a basic understanding of momentum and collision. Because p1 = p2! And if they want to make sure that m1v1 + m2v2 = 0, then maybe they should do the frigging calculation instead of just throwing something tiny in the train’s way and pretending that that will work. And that is all. That is all the physics I have left.

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Procrastination Theatre: April 8, 2012 Yes, we rewatched this on Easter Sunday morning while dying eggs. I am not a religious person. I am a sentimental person.

Procrastination Theatre: April 8, 2012

Yes, we rewatched this on Easter Sunday morning while dying eggs. I am not a religious person. I am a sentimental person.

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Procrastination Theatre: April 9, 2012 Listen…maybe someone can explain the appeal of Kazuo Ishiguro to me. This is now my second foray into his work (see also: Never Let Me Go, which I both read and watched) and while I didn’t read The Remains of the Day, it seems to suffer - or to make me suffer, that is - from the same absolute boredom. Maybe it’s because I’m a Jane Austen and George Eliot enthusiast, maybe I’m too much of an Anglophile, but to my mind, Ishiguro doesn’t render the deep social complexities of the British class system, he just actually ends up simplifying them. Because he places the class system under the yoke of the One Big Secret (Nazis in the closet!), everything becomes this oversimplified, reductive shadow of the actual social complexity that someone like Austen or Eliot paints so well in 19th century British literature. So, like, boring, Ishiguro. Boring, Anthony Hopkins. Even you, Emma Thompson, love of my life, are kind of boring in this. Even you, Hugh Grant genuinely acting (actually, you’re not that boring). Even you, pre-injury Christopher Reeve (you’re actually still pretty commanding). But seriously - a boring story told by an author whom I’m beginning to pretty firmly categorize as boring and reductive almost to the point of allegory. Instead of giving us substance, he gives us a lot of whispers and stiffly pressed collars and an atmosphere of gravity and we’re supposed to believe that all these things amount to something complex. Seriously, just read Middlemarch. Or Mansfield Park. And yes, I mainly watched this because it is apparently a touchstone for Ben/Leslie in Parks and Recreation. I have no shame.

Procrastination Theatre: April 9, 2012

Listen…maybe someone can explain the appeal of Kazuo Ishiguro to me. This is now my second foray into his work (see also: Never Let Me Go, which I both read and watched) and while I didn’t read The Remains of the Day, it seems to suffer - or to make me suffer, that is - from the same absolute boredom. Maybe it’s because I’m a Jane Austen and George Eliot enthusiast, maybe I’m too much of an Anglophile, but to my mind, Ishiguro doesn’t render the deep social complexities of the British class system, he just actually ends up simplifying them. Because he places the class system under the yoke of the One Big Secret (Nazis in the closet!), everything becomes this oversimplified, reductive shadow of the actual social complexity that someone like Austen or Eliot paints so well in 19th century British literature. So, like, boring, Ishiguro. Boring, Anthony Hopkins. Even you, Emma Thompson, love of my life, are kind of boring in this. Even you, Hugh Grant genuinely acting (actually, you’re not that boring). Even you, pre-injury Christopher Reeve (you’re actually still pretty commanding). But seriously - a boring story told by an author whom I’m beginning to pretty firmly categorize as boring and reductive almost to the point of allegory. Instead of giving us substance, he gives us a lot of whispers and stiffly pressed collars and an atmosphere of gravity and we’re supposed to believe that all these things amount to something complex.

Seriously, just read Middlemarch. Or Mansfield Park. And yes, I mainly watched this because it is apparently a touchstone for Ben/Leslie in Parks and Recreation. I have no shame.

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Procrastination Theatre: April 5, 2012 Oh my God, I’m so behind on these. Okay, so I haven’t read the books. From what I’ve heard/seen in the movie, it seems as though Suzanne Collins is dealing with some pretty complex and interesting issues when it comes to negotiating publicity and identity in a world increasingly dominated by  the weird facade of reality tv; she’s also done a pretty bang-up job of looking at how the different means of production would get parcelled out between different districts. That being said, I’m still not sure if I’m going to read them because I’m pretty sure the writing itself, if not the ideas, is young adult writing.  Anyway, the movie: was good, I thought, for someone who hadn’t read the books. Jennifer Lawrence was wonderful in it, which shouldn’t surprise anyone because Winter’s Bone is basically The Hunger Games in the real world. I could have done with a lot less shaky-cam; I went in with a headache and left with a huge migraine. I am fine with shaky-cam in action scenes, but if we’re just walking n’talking, I don’t know why I am suddenly just looking at a boot. And in what I assume is the correct reaction to the books, anytime Peeta and Katniss did anything romantic with each other, I made a face like I was seeing a close relative naked. I am apparently not at all comfortable with the idea of publicized affection. And I mean, really, Katniss is a lovely antidote to the Twilight debacle; what if there’s a girl who really isn’t interested in romance, period? I like it. My last comment is that I used to do archery and I was awesome at it and Jennifer Lawrence did a pretty good job at it but it would actually screw up your shot to pluck it back even further once you already have the string at your face so….anyway. 

Procrastination Theatre: April 5, 2012

Oh my God, I’m so behind on these.

Okay, so I haven’t read the books. From what I’ve heard/seen in the movie, it seems as though Suzanne Collins is dealing with some pretty complex and interesting issues when it comes to negotiating publicity and identity in a world increasingly dominated by  the weird facade of reality tv; she’s also done a pretty bang-up job of looking at how the different means of production would get parcelled out between different districts. That being said, I’m still not sure if I’m going to read them because I’m pretty sure the writing itself, if not the ideas, is young adult writing. 

Anyway, the movie: was good, I thought, for someone who hadn’t read the books. Jennifer Lawrence was wonderful in it, which shouldn’t surprise anyone because Winter’s Bone is basically The Hunger Games in the real world. I could have done with a lot less shaky-cam; I went in with a headache and left with a huge migraine. I am fine with shaky-cam in action scenes, but if we’re just walking n’talking, I don’t know why I am suddenly just looking at a boot. And in what I assume is the correct reaction to the books, anytime Peeta and Katniss did anything romantic with each other, I made a face like I was seeing a close relative naked. I am apparently not at all comfortable with the idea of publicized affection. And I mean, really, Katniss is a lovely antidote to the Twilight debacle; what if there’s a girl who really isn’t interested in romance, period? I like it.

My last comment is that I used to do archery and I was awesome at it and Jennifer Lawrence did a pretty good job at it but it would actually screw up your shot to pluck it back even further once you already have the string at your face so….anyway. 

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Tiscali: It’s worth noting that many of the cast come from famous or dysfunctional families, a bit like the Tenenbaums.Wes Anderson: It’s interesting. You know, Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow, certainly Anjelica Huston, all those families are real achievers, you know, and fame is an issue for their whole families. For Anjelica Huston (daughter of John Huston) I think there’s definitely things for her to relate to in terms of the character that Hackman is playing. Hackman - I didn’t know much of anything about his background, but after we’d finished the movie I saw an episode of Inside The Actors Studio which he did while we were filming. And he talked about his father, and it seemed to really relate to what he’d been playing in the movie - it caught me so much off-guard. You know, there was no dialogue between us about it, but it was clearly something he couldn’t have helped but to tap into. Tiscali: What did he say in the programme?Wes Anderson: His father left his family when he was 13 or so, and he just described this moment when Hackman and his friends were playing in the street, and his father drove by. And Hackman saw him driving by, and his father kind of waved from the window but didn’t stop the car. And it was the last he saw him for ten years. And Hackman had really choked up when he was telling it. It was very moving. I’d never heard anything about this at all. And he’d been playing this father who abandons his family for years and years. (via)

Tiscali: It’s worth noting that many of the cast come from famous or dysfunctional families, a bit like the Tenenbaums.
Wes Anderson: It’s interesting. You know, Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow, certainly Anjelica Huston, all those families are real achievers, you know, and fame is an issue for their whole families. For Anjelica Huston (daughter of John Huston) I think there’s definitely things for her to relate to in terms of the character that Hackman is playing. Hackman - I didn’t know much of anything about his background, but after we’d finished the movie I saw an episode of Inside The Actors Studio which he did while we were filming. And he talked about his father, and it seemed to really relate to what he’d been playing in the movie - it caught me so much off-guard. You know, there was no dialogue between us about it, but it was clearly something he couldn’t have helped but to tap into.

Tiscali: What did he say in the programme?
Wes Anderson: His father left his family when he was 13 or so, and he just described this moment when Hackman and his friends were playing in the street, and his father drove by. And Hackman saw him driving by, and his father kind of waved from the window but didn’t stop the car. And it was the last he saw him for ten years. And Hackman had really choked up when he was telling it. It was very moving. I’d never heard anything about this at all. And he’d been playing this father who abandons his family for years and years. (via)

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bbook: Cosmo! And that’s the hand of his wonderful partner—trainer, Mathilde. Cosmo has a deep, thousand-year-old kind of soul, and like Ewan, he was so sensitive to his fellow actors. They were really with each other.”

bbook:

Cosmo! And that’s the hand of his wonderful partner—trainer, Mathilde. Cosmo has a deep, thousand-year-old kind of soul, and like Ewan, he was so sensitive to his fellow actors. They were really with each other.”

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Procrastination Theatre: April 5, 2012 Okay, I am woefully behind on these, but bear with me, because part of why I am behind on them is because I had exams and I just didn’t feel I had the time to really properly write about this movie. And mainly Michael Fassbender. So I resisted seeing this in theatres for almost a year because, as I annoyingly said to everyone who asked me why I wouldn’t see it, having twelve good actors/actresses does not a good movie make. And after having seen this, I can confidently say that I am right. Having twelve good actors does not make a movie good. But apparently having Michael Fassbender does make a movie good. Seriously - I am just distressed by Fassbender at this point. How does he do it? How is he so good in this otherwise uninteresting and mediocre movie? I mean, I like a lot of the other actors in this movie, but everyone pretty much delivers the Action Movie Special in this movie: the bare minimum, nothing compelling, a pretty standard dialing-it-in for a subpar script and a big budget. BUT NOT FASSBENDER. Fassbender is just, like, home run after home run in this movie. He is batting a million, and for what? For a stupid comic book prequel. Like, yes, bat a million for Steve McQueen. But you are batting a million in a movie where everyone else is sleepwalking through the dreadful dialogue. You are destroying it in a movie where January Jones plays a woman who can turn into a diamond and therefore justify her total absence of line delivery. I just…I can’t. Michael Fassbender has won. I finally found him devastatingly attractive in this movie (particularly the Argentinian Nazi bar scene), and the best way to characterize how I feel about Fassbender now is, quite simply, put upon. I feel put upon by Michael Fassbender. He is too talented and too attractive and too awesome at everything and I feel put upon because I do not have the time or energy to obsess over him as much as he clearly deserves to be obsessed over. Other things about this movie: I love James McAvoy, but he is ridiculous in this movie, and it’s clear that he’s supposed to be, because I believe that this movie is really about discovering that Professor X is the biggest upper-class privileged piece of shit in the world. Seriously, I think the title X-Men: First Class is meant to signal to us that one’s position on what the mutants should be doing about their social situation depends a lot on whether you are perhaps an upper class aristocrat with a mansion. And, contrary to what everyone else thought about the movie, I don’t see it at all as a bromance between Charles and Erik. I mean, Charles is just so clearly light years of maturity behind Erik, it just seems like a remotely pleasant acquaintance to Erik most of the time. Like the new naive kid in school who you’ll hang out with absentmindedly because you’re not a bad person. 

Procrastination Theatre: April 5, 2012

Okay, I am woefully behind on these, but bear with me, because part of why I am behind on them is because I had exams and I just didn’t feel I had the time to really properly write about this movie. And mainly Michael Fassbender.

So I resisted seeing this in theatres for almost a year because, as I annoyingly said to everyone who asked me why I wouldn’t see it, having twelve good actors/actresses does not a good movie make. And after having seen this, I can confidently say that I am right. Having twelve good actors does not make a movie good. But apparently having Michael Fassbender does make a movie good.

Seriously - I am just distressed by Fassbender at this point. How does he do it? How is he so good in this otherwise uninteresting and mediocre movie? I mean, I like a lot of the other actors in this movie, but everyone pretty much delivers the Action Movie Special in this movie: the bare minimum, nothing compelling, a pretty standard dialing-it-in for a subpar script and a big budget. BUT NOT FASSBENDER. Fassbender is just, like, home run after home run in this movie. He is batting a million, and for what? For a stupid comic book prequel. Like, yes, bat a million for Steve McQueen. But you are batting a million in a movie where everyone else is sleepwalking through the dreadful dialogue. You are destroying it in a movie where January Jones plays a woman who can turn into a diamond and therefore justify her total absence of line delivery. I just…I can’t. Michael Fassbender has won. I finally found him devastatingly attractive in this movie (particularly the Argentinian Nazi bar scene), and the best way to characterize how I feel about Fassbender now is, quite simply, put upon. I feel put upon by Michael Fassbender. He is too talented and too attractive and too awesome at everything and I feel put upon because I do not have the time or energy to obsess over him as much as he clearly deserves to be obsessed over.

Other things about this movie: I love James McAvoy, but he is ridiculous in this movie, and it’s clear that he’s supposed to be, because I believe that this movie is really about discovering that Professor X is the biggest upper-class privileged piece of shit in the world. Seriously, I think the title X-Men: First Class is meant to signal to us that one’s position on what the mutants should be doing about their social situation depends a lot on whether you are perhaps an upper class aristocrat with a mansion. And, contrary to what everyone else thought about the movie, I don’t see it at all as a bromance between Charles and Erik. I mean, Charles is just so clearly light years of maturity behind Erik, it just seems like a remotely pleasant acquaintance to Erik most of the time. Like the new naive kid in school who you’ll hang out with absentmindedly because you’re not a bad person. 

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bbook: Forgive For your listening pleasure.

bbook:

Forgive

For your listening pleasure.

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(via Behind the Scenes of Dazed and Confused - From the Current - The Criterion Collection)

(via Behind the Scenes of Dazed and Confused - From the Current - The Criterion Collection)

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moviefone: Young filmmaker sends Martin Scorsese a note asking him for some viewing recommendations, and he responded with this list. [via Reddit Movies] I don’t want to be judged, but I am sort of recently realizing how wonderful Scorsese is even though I can’t stand anything he’s made with Babyface Dicaprio. I need to have an Old School Scorsese Viewing Night.

moviefone:

Young filmmaker sends Martin Scorsese a note asking him for some viewing recommendations, and he responded with this list.

[via Reddit Movies]

I don’t want to be judged, but I am sort of recently realizing how wonderful Scorsese is even though I can’t stand anything he’s made with Babyface Dicaprio. I need to have an Old School Scorsese Viewing Night.

(via ilovecharts)

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